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When a woman's knocked up...and there ain't nothin' she can do about it.

Posted on 2009.12.01 at 00:28
Hi, folks. Long time and all that.

So, as the subject title indicates, I am officially with child. Four months and two weeks, to be exact.

I'm so excited. No, really. I can't wait to get this effing parasite out of me so my body can return to normal. Don't get me wrong; I already love the kid. But I'm sure I will enjoy him (or her) much more once it's on the outside. The body changes fucking suck. I went from spending the first month on my ass to spazzing out over lint traps and empty Miracle Whip jars. I can't have alcohol, coffee, Pepsi, hookers, or blow. Strange people now feel free to touch me without invitation or permission. And EVERYBODY is a fucking expert. I cannot go a day without receiving some bit of unsolicited advice (with 70% of it coming from my mother). So the only two things I'm really getting out of this deal are the kid and remarkably shiny hair.

Oh, and then there's the whole "high risk" thing, as my blood type and uterine fibroids make me a prime candidate for complications. And today I learned that I'm hypertensive. My OB told me to lay off the salt and stop stressing. No salt? No problem. Stop stressing? Problem.

Prenatal yoga DOES help, though.

In the meantime, I'm doing all the responsible mommy stuff, like researching birthing centers, midwives, and doulas. I'm reading out loud (political blogs, mostly) to baby, and talking to him/her. I'm checking out daycares and preschools. I'm buying child development books. We've already picked out the names. I am officially consumed with all things baby.

Of course, I can do without the preggers jokes. And the friends gleefully rubbing in the fact that I can't drink while downing cocktails. And monitoring everything that goes in my mouth. Hell, I could do without a lot of shit but it would be too long to list here, and I do have to sleep eventually.

But when the kid gets here, it will have all been worth it. At least that's what they tell me.


Miss K
Fresh shit. thatblackchick at 2009-12-01 06:59 (UTC) (Link)
How funny...for some strange reason, I actually thought about you today when I was scanning through my FL and wondering what ever became of you.

Congrats on the pregnancy. I wish you nothing but the best. :) Please take care of yourself!
Tanya D.
Fresh shit. tanyad at 2009-12-01 11:09 (UTC) (Link)
Congrats on the soon to be mom-ness. Let me know if you want to hang, promise I won't nag you about what you eat, what you do or if you just want to nap.

I'll try to ring you later this week.
Fresh shit. kate_nepveu at 2009-12-01 13:07 (UTC) (Link)

I wish I knew what it was about me that made no strangers touch me, because if I could, I'd bottle it and give it away. (I did have a T-shirt that said "yes I am pregnant, no you may not touch my belly", but I never wore it except for the weekly mug shot once I got further along.)

Best wishes for a complication-free pregnancy and birth.
UR taste buds can't repel flavor of this magnitude
Fresh shit. sofvckinghot at 2009-12-01 13:27 (UTC) (Link)

Oh, bless

I wish you a healthy pregnancy, a perfect baby, and some support wherever and whenever you need it. ((HUGS))
Fresh shit. denim_queen at 2009-12-01 13:49 (UTC) (Link)

Just to echo what everybody else had said, it's good to hear from you again on LJ and to hear such great news at that! :D
soft twig boy
Fresh shit. sexyscholar at 2009-12-01 13:51 (UTC) (Link)

I got lucky in that nobody got all touchy-feely with my belly either time I was pregnant. Hopefully people will knock that the fuck off and soon.

Yeah, pregnancy sucks major dick. I love my babies, I do - but I hated being pregnant. It's an experiment in various greats and not-so-greats.

First time you feel him or her move, it's going to be great. Once you're eight months along and they've decided that they're going to be Bruce Leroy or some shit in there...mmm, not so great.

It will all have been worth it, though. Really.

Best wishes for you and your new family!
Beautiful Indeed
Fresh shit. innocencelost at 2009-12-01 19:16 (UTC) (Link)
*sniffle* awwwwwww so cute!!!!

I already told you, give the look of death & karate chop a mofo that don't ask first that touches.

I love you & you know I'm just a call away.
cheveux sable with earworm rampant
Fresh shit. lcohen at 2009-12-01 20:48 (UTC) (Link)
mazel tov!!!

i have no advice whatsoever, so let me know if you want to hang out and have an advice respite.
City Mouse
Fresh shit. dyvinesweetness at 2009-12-02 00:23 (UTC) (Link)
"We've already picked out the names."

...Ummm, You wanna fill us in on what they are, chick??!
The Warrior Queen of Awesomeland
Fresh shit. porcelain72 at 2009-12-02 01:54 (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow, congratulations. You will be a wonderful mom.
Vince, Dude, Vman, Kid, Pimp, Vern, Toshiro
Fresh shit. dust_wind_dude at 2009-12-02 05:58 (UTC) (Link)
didn't say nothing about not gettin' down on meth. Crack either. 'Cause the crack ain't gonna smoke itself.

I'm just sayin'.

Not like Everyone Else
Fresh shit. nati_thoughts at 2009-12-02 15:53 (UTC) (Link)
Fresh shit. eemahknee at 2009-12-02 20:36 (UTC) (Link)

oh yeahhhhh

So random I decided to come back and check out LJ today (honestly I needed to see some funny snarky Tiger comments) and lo, a baby is amongst them

Congrats, couldnt have happened to a nicer broad
Fresh shit. kstone20059 at 2009-12-04 02:02 (UTC) (Link)
Can I rub your belly like buddha?
when silence becomes sound
Fresh shit. jst_us at 2009-12-06 09:47 (UTC) (Link)
imma need u to quit calling my godbaby a parasite! lol and like Eb said..what'r the names nshyt!
Got to be good-looking 'cos he's so hard to see
Fresh shit. fa_ikaika at 2010-02-10 23:13 (UTC) (Link)

late to the party but

that's great news. Congratulations. And at least you now have an internal heater for the cold months.
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